Memories: Fall is coming

September 16, 2016

For a while now I have had the feeling that something in the air was changing, Driving
on the back roads of Soulsbyville, I had the sense of change in the day. The early mornings
I could smell the dampness in the air as if it had rained but the drops of rain had not landed
on the ground.  I love that smell, it brings back so many warm memories of times
long ago while visiting my grandmother who loved in the country where there were
farms and life was slow.

Even though it's only September a month of celebrating for us because of birthdays which
I love to do, I also know that Fall is near and how I love that time of year.  The first thing
I think of are PUMPKINS which I saw yesterday at the grocery store, I felt like a child
again excited to see pumpkins which meant soon we would carve scary faces into them.
Now when I see pumpkins I think of pies which I love to make, the smell of cinnamon
and the falling of the leaves..... I just love it.

This is the time of year that I make Christmas ornaments for each of my sons, daughter in-laws,
and grandchildren.... a few think I have too many for my eight foot tree but I don't.  I'm so
looking forward to traditions, smells of the seasons, decorations, and memories.  This
year will be extra special because I will have my mother here who is living with us.
It's been many years since she has celebrated Christmas, I look forward to sharing lots of memories
she has  of her childhood of Christmas.

Memories.... first birthdays

August 7,2016

Memories.....Ellie's first birthday

Yesterday we celebrated our granddaughter's 1st birthday and what a wonderful
day it was.  I looked at her at one point and thought of all the birthday parties I
gave for our sons and how emotional I was when we celebrated our first grandson's
first birthday.  Our son and wife lived in a small condo and all grandparent were
there with auntie and uncles.  Mom made his cake which was a train.  she asked
Michael what kind of cake and she baked it, what a wonderful memory.  That's about
the time when I realized that time had moved on and we had to take a step back.

I remember when it was my turn to give a birthday party for our first son.  I wanted
to do everything by hand.  All the invitations were hand made for several reasons, one
being money was short but that didn't bother me because I was a homemaker and
its what I wanted to do.  Stamps at that time were four cents which I still needed to watch
money wise.  The party was held of course at grandma Sis's house.  I wanted it to be
at our house but common sense told me that September meant heat and they had a
pool and grandma Sis loved to have people at her house.  Lots of people came which
you always knew they would because at that time family came to all family events.
I also knew there would be a time when we would have birthday parties at our home.

As time has gone by we did enjoy having parties at our homes and boy there was no
shortage of them.  Parties ranged from birthdays, graduations, BBQ's, going away,
or just because we wanted company.  I have to say that all of them are memories
I keep in my memory and heart because all who came to our home were and still
are precious to us.

The one birthday gathering we had this year was for my mother.  You see since I
left home to marry this wonderful man, mom had finished raising my brother and
two sisters and I went on to raise my family of sons.  After the passing of my
step-dad mom who was an old fashion type woman who felt you needed to have a
man in your life to do things for you and talk to.  She eventually lost her second
husband who was a Viet Nam vet.  During their marriage she kind of lost track of
new things that had been invented of you can believe that.
Well she moved into our home and her birthday came around and I thought we
would invite our third son and  his wife for dinner and after surprise mom with a
ice cream cake.  Well that was more of a surprise to us because she didn't know
what an ice cream cake was.  We all laughed and thought how could she not know
what an ice cream cake was.  This is when I realized just how secluded she had
been in her marriage to her second husband.  They only watched stations on TV
that had no commercials, went to the casino's and traveled.  Who would have
known all the things she didn't know were invented.
Well such as life, you learn something new everyday.
Aloha

July 24,2016

What a beautiful Sunday morning, looking at the leaves that seem to shine as if
they are wet, the silence is defining and refreshing.  This is the time when my
mind wonders back in time.  Why that is I'm not sure but I love it. Remembering
a time when life was so full of play, laughter and not knowing what the future would
bring.

My life had started in a hospital in the 50's to a mother who had not idea what it
was like or meant to have a baby.  All she knew was that she was a mother now
and would do what she knew to take care of me.  She was the forth child to be
born to her parents and pretty much had been responsible of taking care of the
other seven siblings.  Coming home and taking care of an infant that was hers
and hers along was a little over whelming since while she was in the hospital, her
parents had moved to another home, she had nothing for a baby but thanks to
her aunts and uncles she had a bassinet, dresser, diapers and bottles.  So the story
begins of her life taking care and loving me.

As I grew older I would sit in my mothers bedroom and watch her put on her make-up
and comb her hair.  She would talk about how I came about and how my father
had asked for her hand in marriage but she said no.  I remember him coming to
our house when my step-father was at work but couldn't put a face to the man
who would say I'm you daddy.  Mom would tell me that a few family members
would help him to see me and give my mom cloths that they all said were from
them but it really was from my dad.

Well I'm retired now and mom lives with my husband and I.  I knew when my
step-father died that I wanted to take care of my mom when she needed me and
now that time has come.
to say it has been easy...... well some days are and few are not.  I love my mother
with all my heart and want to take care of her but what I thought would be easy
is not so easy.  What do you deal with well I've heard from others as they talked
about taking care of a parent and it is applying to me now.  To actually live it is
not what I thought it would be, I'm I sorry I made this decision... no.  It can be
challenging. It depends on what side of the bed she wakes up to.
I have to talk slower, explain what they are talking about on the news even if
I don't understand it.  Remind her of some simple things and hold my breath
when she says "you didn't tell me that".  Finding what she wants to eat and holding
my tongue when she says she has never eaten that before, that when I have to
think how far back she is thinking.  What drives me crazy at times... well when I
take her cloths downstairs to wash and she says "you shouldn't do that", finally
one day I said with a happy voice, well mom they are not going to wash themselves
something she would say to us when we lived at home...I have to laugh at those
time. 

She remembers way back when as she watches me do things around the house,
the same things she used to do and that really make her sad.  It make me realize that
we are more a like than I thought. 

My husband and I married young and I guess you could say we have grown up
together over the last forty-seven years.  During this time we lived our lives and
raised our four sons.  Life was very busy for us and that meant I was separated from
my mothers life.  My step-father passed and she remarried several years later.
Mom and Pat traveled which surprised us kids because we never knew our mom
to travel our of California.  So our lives where more separate because of it, we talked
on the phone and visited when they settled in Nevada.  Her second husband passed and she was
along again but by this time she was in her late seventies, she had had a stroke by
that time and losing her husband was a big loss.  She developed another way of living
which did not included to much eating but would go to the casino to eat up the
lonely times.  Her health started to decline a bit and had made several trip to the
hospital and thanks to my aunt and uncle she would have a ride home.
We talked her into moving closer (which took a lot)and the move was made.

Its been an adjustment, I was really hoping to share our home but she want her
home and her past.  We live in the country but depending on the day it's too
quite after all she is a city girl.

What it boils down to is as a young mother she had wants for her children and
now I have wants for her.... what goes around..... comes around.

Memories

It's July 5th, our granddaughter's 15th birthday.  She was born in New Jersey not long after
her parents (our oldest son & wife) moved to New Jersey.  He relocated because of
his job but a year and a half later moved back to California.  I had always dreamed of
visiting the East Coast, it was five years earlier while delivering newspapers in the fall
that I had thoughts of what it was like living on the East Coast during fall.  Well I
got my chance after Gianna was born and after 9/11 happened.  We had made plans after
Gianna's birth to visit our son and his family in September and leave on the 22nd.
It was a beautiful time even though our country was still in shock after the attack of the
two towers.  As we sat on the plane in San Francisco, the pilot tried to reassure us
that they had checked the airplane and that we were safe.  We never felt more safe flying than we did that day.  To see our newest granddaughter was such a thrill and we were both so
 excited, I couldn't wait to hold her.
The next day we drove around town and I had that same feeling I had years earlier had returned as I
saw houses with golden shaded leaves on the ground, pumpkins on porches and all had
the American flags hung on the posts of the porches.  It reminded me of a picture
right out of Norman Rockwell. 

Grandma in the Hills

June 23, 2016

Memories.......
I love it when the summer is here on "Country Rose Lane".  After living here for
eleven years I finally found a name for our home.  I have always been a fan of
Little House on the Prairie and would call it Little House when talking with friends
about the series.  Which someone else would not connect the two but when I
saw what was to be our new home I new I wanted for it.  My husband of course
couldn't figure out why it was important to me but that was ok because I figured
once I found a name for our house in the country who would be ok with it.
It took years but the day I was looking through a magazine, I spotted a phrase
"Country Rose" and it hit me..... my yard was filled with roses so I came up with
the name "Country Rose Lane".  I had hubby put up an arbor that is facing the
street with two gates, one closed and the other one half way open.  I stenciled
"Welcome Friends".  Of course my hubby couldn't understand the meaning but
I have always welcomed friends and family to my home in the forty seven years
we have been married and I would continue to welcome new friends to our home.
Hubby had a wooden stained sign made for me with the name of our home and
a yellow rose painted on it.  We hung it in the front of the arbor for everyone to
see.
This brings back lots of memories as a child, I remember my mom and step-dad
waking us up before sunrise and telling us to hurry because we needed to leave
soon,  After waking up and trying to remember why we had to leave so early, the
excitement came back to me.... we were going to see "Grandma in the Hills"
and grandpa Mike.
That was worth waking up early for.  We all loved going to see grandma in the hills because
this meant we were going to be able to see farm animals and run around and play without
our parents worrying about where we were.  The ride was always long and we would
fall back to sleep and wake up just when the sun was rising.  Maybe that's why I love
to watch the sun rise in the morning here on Country Rose Lane.

The ride to "Grandma in the Hills" house seemed like a long one for us for us kids.
When mom and dad started rolling down the windows as the heat was upon
us and boy with four of us in the back seat it made it even warmer.  Along with the
heat came this awful sour kind of smell.....cows and more cows....when were we going to
get pass the cows.  I always knew that when I saw a group of palm trees on the left that we
were close to making the turn that would bring us closer to grandma's house.
Pulling into her driveway was so exciting....getting out of the car and getting instructions
from mom and dad to behave would fly right by our ears.  After the hugs, kisses and
smiles we were off to grandma's next door neighbor "Mr. Hill,  he was always glad to
see us and of course grandma had told him when we were coming up.  We always had hugs for Mr.
Hill and of course the first thing we would do for him which for some reason we enjoyed
doing was picking up all the walnuts that had fallen on the ground.  Mrs. Hill would
appear with her apron on and cookies on a plate and lemonade,  I knew that one day I wanted
to be like Mrs. Hill and greet my grandchildren with cookies and wearing an apron.
We loved or I loved hearing Mr. Hills stories as we would pick grapes in his very small
vineyard which consisted of just two short rows. Such memories that would shape my
adult life.  Grandma also had a neighbor across the street who had small farm animals
and the neighbor next door well they had a pool and a son named Skip whom I
didn't notice until I was about twelve and all of a sudden for no reason I became shy
about myself and excited to see Skip...awe the first love of  my life.

I remember as I became a teenager and for some reason had never wore shorts before, I
remember visiting grandma and it was soooo hot and I was wearing jeans when grandma
suggested that I cut one of my jeans to make a pair of shorts.  Oh my, I threw a fit, it was
one of the times I remember being upset at her for trying to convince me to wear shorts.
Well after some thinking of what she had said which made me realize that I was just
being shy to wear them because I thought my legs were to white (which they weren't) and
just at the time growing into a young woman.  So finally I cut one of my jeans and rolled
them up a little and I haven't stopped wearing them since.

Years later I would come back to visit "Grandma in the Hills" with my husband which
I was proud to do and he liked it also.  Now meeting grandpa Mike was another thing, he was
used to getting up at three a.m., and grandma would fix him breakfast.  Now grandpa Mike was
used to getting up that early because of the farm animals he had but now it was just a
habit.  By the time six a.m. came a long grandpa Mike was on his way to town to start
his day at the local bar which he would order straight whiskey and talk to his friends.  This
kind of scared my husband because he was not used to this routine.  So grandpa invited
hubby to join him later in the afternoon which grandpa was happy to do.
These memories are the ones I have had the pleasure of sharing with my sons and
grandchildren, I just wish I could take them there but for now all I can do is tell them
the story of "Grandma in the Hills".

Memories.....

June 8, 2016

Life has a way of laying down different paths for us to travel ready or not.  We now have
my mother living with us and she came with a lot of baggage which we found lots of
places for everything but the most important part of that baggage are her memories of our
family... The Fernandez family.  Apparently my grandfather a quiet man except when
you did something wrong, he would let you know he was not happy.

I made my entrance into the world on a sunny warm day in September, of course my precious
mother had no idea what was going on and couldn't understand why she had sooo much
pain.  My parents were not married to each other when I came into the world.

My grandfather paid no attention to me during the month after I was born.  My mother
was so afraid of him but little did she know that when she was downstairs making my
bottle of which she had to learn to do, he was upstairs looking at me.  I should go back
a little bit on this story.  My grandfather was born on the island of Guam, Mr. & Mrs.
Anderson brought my grandfather over to the states so he could go to college but life
had other plans for him.  My grandfather after being in the states for a few months went
to a dance hall where he met my grandmother, well seven sons and four daughters later
the Fernandez clan met the world and oh boy what a story that is going to be.