It's has been too long since writting, I think the last time was in June, now Christmas is around the corner.  I love the months leading up to Christmas, fall I would have to say is my most healing time of year where my heart wants to slow way down and feel the wind, watch the trees turn to the most beautiful colors. 
Someone once told me if we look at a tree and how it starts to grow buds that will turn into leaves and carefully watch it as the tree spreads its branches and embraces the sun while the leaves grow during the summer till they are as large as they will ever be and dance in the breeze but soon as time goes by the leaves start to age and slowly lose the flexable wave, September comes then October where they dry and can no longer bend with ease but cast one more time their beauty till November brings the strong winds and the leaves gently fall to the ground. The tree that produced the leaves provide a lifetime of youth, middle age and finally old age where memories is all the leaves have before making way for the new life that will start again in the spring.  Isn't that how we live our life?

It always seems to me that this time of year also for some reason make me wish with all my heart I had a daughter.  Someone to share smiles and memories with, to pass on recipes to.  Make cookies with.  Someone who couldn't wait to share those moments with me and not say "Oh didn't tell you we have a wedding date".  Maybe the  misscarriage I had years ago was a daughter and when my time is threw here she will meet me in heaven.  I long so much to hear a daughter call me mom.  Most time anymore I want to give up on my sons because it is becoming to painful waiting for them to come together.  So as I make the traditional Christmas orniments as I have done every year for each son, daughter in-law, and grandchild of which I don't think anyone will be here to put them on the tree,I will continue to pray and be thankful for the years I have had with my family.  They now have their family and building memories.  Memories......... I love them and hold on to them as my children will do with their own.